FiranCon Puppet Show 2006
From FiranMUX
Performed at FiranCon 2006. Taleo, Jalil, Ania, Nydiam, Fidelia, Amenik, Pia, and Taria were all represented by some felt puppets on sticks!
Tonight, you are to be privy to the private goings ons of the Clan meetings. When they kick everyone out and the talk turns to deeper, more secretive politics – what the Clan Leaders don't want you to know! In tonight's meeting, we will see a proposal to change a Republic policy that will impact mers and messes.
(hold up Jalil's puppet)
Clan Leader Jalil first proposes a method to tax the people harder. He has the full support of the Viceroy Taleo and they both seem ready to move the motion forward, with a few strings tugged here n there.
But Taleo (hold up Taleo's puppet) happened to glance out the window the moment he had planned to chirp in and, what did he see? Why, a pretty little thing in a stola. A whore? A common girl? It doesn't matter. He excuses himself and runs out, leaving Jalil holding the bill in the matter of this new tax proposal. As Taleo runs out ("walk" Taleo's puppet), he brushes against Ania (hold up Ania, run Taleo into her). Of course, this does not bode well.
She shrieks and looks at her shoulder, where the Bear lord touched her, and quickly departs for the baths. (Throw Ania)
Through the window, Taleo has stopped the Mes and spoken quietly to her. He takes out a bag of money – REPUBLIC money – and jingles it at her. They both disappear (throw Taleo's puppet) for a good 3 hours or so.
Jalil (hold up Jalil) looks to the rest of the Council and finds that Inaya (hold up Inaya) is buried under a mound of petitions and paperwork (throw a pile of papers at Inaya's puppet) from her subjects who see her as readily available and very nice. Suddenly, something in the corner crashes. Oh. It's Clan Leader Nydiam (hold up Nydiam), slobbering drunk!
Nydiam, in a burst of good ideas, leaps up suddenly and runs out of the meeting (throw Nydiam). Everyone watches somewhat mystified, but no one makes any effort to stop the old man.
(hold up Fidelia)
Fidelia uses the slight lull in Jalil's proposal to offer another: she proposes a law about hairpins. All women must wear them at all times, even to bed. Unless they're noble (nobles need their sleep, after all!). Taria (hold up Taria), who has been shockingly quiet, resists vehemently but is overpowered by the monotheists, both of whom see this as a way to make women really sleepy all the time and unable to do much. Taria has also been outlining ways to spinyfish people (and who to spinyfish) and is thereby slightly distracted anyway. And thus, the measure is accepted and enacted. Mere seconds later, Taria gets her revenge: she pulls one of Fidelia's hairpins (remove a hairpin from Fiddy puppet) out and Fiddy is arrested for indecency. Amenik (hold up Amenik) attempts to arrest Taria as well, but she stabs him with a hairpin and suddenly realizes that, perhaps, the Bear women are on to something. She leaves to go tell all the people in her clan of this new weapon and promote its general use. (throw Taria puppet!)
Jalil tries again, this time with Pia (hold up Pia). She seems relatively easy, yes? But just at that moment, a messenger (who is later killed for interrupting a meeting), bursts in and tells Pia about the triad of proxies who just can't ever seem to agree on anything – much less get along amicably. Pia has no choice but to deal with the teenagers and leaves the meeting, dropping a steni at the door by accident. (throw Pia puppet) Jalil notices this steni and pounces on it quickly declaring “Mine!” and looking out after Pia. He thinks a moment, decides there's more to be had if he follows her, so Jalil, too, wanders out. (toss Jalil puppet)
Meanwhile, reports are pouring in that Nydiam has managed to get really, really plastered and is loading an Eagle ferry full of first-borns, all the Cockatrice clan's food, and their medallion. (enter Nydiam and a puppet-ferry, upon which Nydiam sails) He gets into that ferry and sails off into the sunset, never to be heard from again.
Amenik spends the entire time condemning the pagans and trying to convert various leaders on the sly. It doesn't work and really just results in his stabbing. He sticks around until there's no one left and, bleeding from the arm, figures he'd best just enact the tax measure and head out of there.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, you see the insanity that results from these meetings. Our leaders are merely out to propagate their own measures, earn extra stenis for themselves, and generally create a more positive noble environment. The people? Why, we can't fall asleep at night for fear of our own or our wives' hairpins stabbing us to death, nor can we afford dulled hairpins because taxes just went up! So, while they're gallivanting and cavorting all over Anarinuell, you and I slave away to get enough money (and watch 75% of it disappear). Meanwhile, Shammis are attacking, Gods are angry, Griffons are falling, peace is broken, women are beaten, and sheep keep trying to kill us – all the while, TAXES go up! I ask you – citizens, where in the world is this tax money going? Back into their pockets. That's where.
