Manual of Etiquette: III - Visiting
From FiranMUX
It is customary to meet with those of one's acquaintance at intervals, that one might discuss current events, the achievements and health of family and mutual friends, and otherwise remain up to date with the pulse of the city in which one lives. Most often, such visits are to the home of one individual or the other, where the guest may enjoy some light refreshments and mild discourse before taking their leave.
Any guest may not under normal circumstances attend another's home uninvited, nor should they bring with them unless specifically invited any family, children, spouse or pets. Personal servants and guards may attend with a guest, but should remain, as ever, unobtrusive in their service and should neither expect to take part in conversation nor take tea with their mistress. It is the responsibility of the host to invite an acquaintance to take tea with them, either formally by written scroll informing the guest when they should be at home, or by a more informal messenger. Those of regular and close acquaintance may send a message to their potential host to inquire if they might be at home at a particular hour, but should never presume that their host will always make his or her home available to them.
In a home with servants, it is usual to knock, and give your name at the door. The servant will then lead you through to a reception room, library or sitting room, and a gracious guest should lag behind a little, in order to allow the servant to announce your presence to their mistress. Should your host not yet be present in the room, be seated and wait quietly, without handling the furniture or ornaments, taking out scrolls from their rack to read over, or stoking the fire. When the host arrives, one should rise and go forward to greet them. Should the host already be seated in the room, he or she should, if not otherwise engaged in conversation with another guest, rise and come forward to greet you. In the event that the host is already speaking with a guest, move forward to them and wait to be acknowledged before offering your respects. It is wholly rude to greet any other guest before your host, as they have been kind enough to offer their home and hospitality to you, and deserve due respect and gratitude.
In a more modest home, one without servants or even one consisting of a single room, one should expect to be greeted at the door by one's host before being led in and directed to a place to sit. On this subject I shall dwell a moment, as all the good manners in the world cannot excuse poor posture. When seating oneself, one should neither flop and sprawl across a chair or couch, nor should one perch on the edge as though about to take flight. Be seated with quiet grace, bearing straight but not stiff, the knees together and with one's hands to oneself. Gentlemen in particular are fond of but should be warned against the practice of sitting with legs akimbo, for two good reasons. Firstly it should take up space in which another person might sit, and secondly it may reveal to the view of those opposite you far more than they should wish to see as a tunic may ride up when one sits. Togas and pallas may be adjusted after one has sat down, but never held up in a great bustle of fabric as one sits. Ladies and gentlemen of a military nature should remove their helmet when seated, ladies then allowing themselves a moment to pin up their hair. Under no circumstances should a lady's hair be allowed to remain loose, as it is a sign of poor self-discipline and associated primarily with those women of negotiable virtue who ply their trade to men.
An afternoon visit should usually last no more than twenty or thirty minutes. A particularly interesting conversation may extend the visit by another five minutes, but under no circumstances should one remain for hours at a time unless at a formal function. It is polite to take one's leave should one's host be required for any emergency, as is only common sense.
A guest may arrive uninvited to another's home under only two circumstances: enquiring after a convalescent or paying a visit of condolence to the recently bereaved. Under neither circumstance is it required of the host to accept them if the host is not fit to do so.
