Manual of Etiquette: II - Formal Introductions
From FiranMUX
With the advent of civilisation, as people have congregated together to form villages, towns and larger and larger cities, the sheer density of people within these relatively small areas has increased significantly. In such a town or city, we should not be expected to be acquainted with every citizen we come across, and indeed to attempt such a task should be impossible ever for the most gregarious of individuals. Rather than to even attempt it, our social circle, that is the list of citizens with whom we are acquainted, may be expanded beyond the immediate family by means of the formal introduction. It is only those with whom one is acquainted who, by the laws of etiquette, must be acknowledged when passing in the street, and are, by initially the finest of lines and as the acquaintance deepens by stronger and stronger bonds, linked with our own good name. Thus it is vital that if one intends to introduce an individual to another, one should be certain that both would be amenable to being linked in such a way. For a young man to introduce to his mother a rogue and vagabond reflects poorly on his character, as she is then obliged to acknowledge the man's presence when she may not have wished to.
However, one should not take the laws of etiquette to extremes. While it should not be considered rude to fail to acknowledge every grocer and farmer in the forum who shouts their wares, or to greet every young man in passing (indeed, such behaviour should cast aspersions on one's own character, comparable as it is to those women who offer themselves for money), to fail to acknowledge with a bow a well known and important individual such as a clan leader is sheer arrogance. Equally do not be as the story of a young gentleman who, upon seeing a lady drowning in the river, removed his cloak and was on the verge of diving in to save her when he realised he had not yet been introduced, replaced his cloak, and went on his way.
To introduce one person to another, one accepts responsibility that both should enjoy the other's company, and no introduction should be made lightly. Furthermore, an introduction should not be made in the street, where it is considered gauche to call out the names of any acquaintance you might have, but in private where due courtesies might be exchanged. Introductions are not necessary at large private functions, such as balls and parties, but to dance with a gentleman at a ball does not make the gentleman an acquaintance and he may be treated upon the next time one meets as though he were a complete stranger without offence. Likewise at a private function, although it is usual for the host to introduce you to their fellow guests when you enter, such an acquaintance need not be continued unless both parties wish.
The manner of a formal introduction is laid out for us and should consist only of one of two possible phrases; the more formal, 'Lord A, may I present Mer B,' or the informal, 'Mes C, may I introduce Mer D.' It should be noted that it is unnecessary to state that the presentation or introduction is 'to you', although it should be perfectly permissible to add a small epithet to inform the former of the latter's relationship to you, their profession or other pertinent information. For example, 'Lady E, may I present my brother, Mer F. Mer F is a carpenter.' Neither does one repeat the names in reverse order, in the manner, 'Mer F, this is Lady E'. To do so insults the intelligence of those you introduce. There are only two people, therefore only two names need spoken.
One always introduces the junior in standing to the more senior. A commoner is introduced to nobility, a gentleman is introduced to a lady, or the younger is introduced to the senior. To remember this, always state the more important individual's name first. A clan leader is never introduced to another, even to a fellow clan leader or to the Ranivor, although those of lower station may be introduced to him or her. Such introductions are unnecessary for such well known figures of standing and importance, and should the clan leader be wearing the clan medallion at the time, completely superfluous.
There can be only one correct response to a formal introduction. The senior person should respond with the junior's title and name, and 'how do you do', to which the junior responds likewise, gentlemen may shake hands with each other or bow to a lady, or a lady should curtsey or bow, after which the senior may choose to continue the conversation Thus a complete introduction may look something like this:
“Lord X, may I present my niece, Mes Y. Mes Y recently joined the military as a pilot.” Lord X should acknowledge Mes Y, responding, “Mes Y, how do you do.” Mes Y should then curtsey to the lord, replying, “Lord X, how do you do.”
Lord X then has the option of inquiring further into the young lady's budding career in the air force, or may offer a simple nod to conclude the meeting and continue about his business. Should conversation continue, it is considered polite to end with the phrase, 'It was nice to meet you,' even if it may not have been! To speak with one for any length of time then to abruptly 'cut' them and move on is the height of rudeness, and to express dissatisfaction with their conversation is both arrogant and a slight upon the judgement of the person who introduced you. One may simply not engage them in lengthy conversation again if it is disagreeable to you.
A formal introduction is always made while standing. Should you be seated when an individual is introduced to you, rise to greet them before seating yourself again, and always allow the senior to sit before you do.
Should one host a party or other gathering, one should introduce a new guest to those guests already assembled in a more abbreviated manner, 'Lady Y, this is Mer A, Mer B, Mes C and Mes D', each of whom should, if not engaged in conversation, rise and offer a polite nod and, if close enough, 'how do you do'. A good host will often lead you to a guest with whom he or she feels you may have much in common, and perform a more lengthy introduction, including some details of that person's interests to facilitate initial conversation.
The self-introduction should be used sparingly, and only when the other person is likely to wish to make your acquaintance. To randomly accost a citizen and force your name upon them is to force a level of acquaintance upon them that they may not wish. Occasions on which it is appropriate to introduce oneself include if a relation of yours is a known acquaintance of theirs, vice versa, or if you offer a service they seek (although such introductions do not allow a tradesman to claim any level of acquaintance, even if you were to speak with them for many hours about a commission or project). One should not introduce oneself if uncertain of the identity of the other.
Thus a correct self-introduction may look as follows:
“Lady X? How do you do. I am Mes Y, you are kind enough to sponsor my husband, Mer Z.” “Mes Y, how do you do.”
