Manual of Etiquette: VI - Dining Etiquette
From FiranMUX
From the earliest time when the first hunters gathered together to share their kill over a fire, the act of eating our food in company has helped to define our society. Instead of simply feeding, the opportunity is taken to dine, to discuss matters with our fellows, and therefore to appreciate both the repast and the company. As with any event where people come together, certain rules of etiquette have arisen with the purpose of ensuring the event is equally enjoyable for all and there is no offence caused to any individual.
In usual circumstances, one should dine while seated at a table. If there is no table, such as while in the field, a flat log or similar item may be covered with a cloak in order to create an alternative. It is simply not civilised to walk down the road, munching away on some titbit or other. Those intending to dine come to the table together and take up their places behind their seats. Seats may be assigned by a seating plan for a formal dinner, by custom for a family dinner, or simply by random for less formal dining. However, the head of the table is always reserved for the host, and the foot of the table for the hostess, with certain exceptions. One does not seat oneself, regardless one's own status, until the hostess has first been seated, as a mark of respect. Children, until they are quite old enough and able to dine with their seniors as though they were adults, should eat at a separate time in their nursery.
The female guest of honour is always seated to the right of the host, while the male guest of honour should be seated to the right of the hostess, then under usual circumstances the remainder of the guests are seated alternately by sex. In the event that the number of guests is such that with the host at one end and the hostess at the other, two ladies or two gentlemen should end up seated beside each other, the hostess should instead be seated one place to the left, allowing the male guest of honour their place at the foot of the table, and thus ensuring that the guests are all seated alternately. In a dinner given for very specific guests, such as for the clan leaders where the number of male and female guests is not necessarily even, one may dispense with the requirement to seat each alternately by their sex as it should be impossible.
Having seated oneself, one should first place one's napkin on the lap. It should never be tucked into the top of the tunic or stola as though one were a baby with a bib! The napkin may be used to wipe the hands or dab (not wipe) the mouth, but should always then be returned to the lap. One should then be served or serve oneself the first course, depending on the formality of the dinner and the availability of serving staff. One does not commence eating until the hostess has herself begun. The astute reader may begin to note a running theme, by which they may not stray far wrong: when dining, observe one's hostess and do not commence any action until she has first done so. Often the host or hostess might offer thanks to the gods for the food they grant us, and should one's religious beliefs vary it is polite to simply bow the head respectfully while those around you pray.
A dinner may vary from the elaborate meal of twenty or more courses, to a simple single course. A formal dinner should usually consist of five courses; a soup course, a fish course, a main course, a vegetable or salad course, and finally a dessert or cheese, followed by tea or spirits. Cutlery is used from the outermost to the innermost, and should one have any doubts, again look to the hostess and observe her actions for guidance.
The first course should be completely cleared away when the last person has finished eating, before the next course is brought out. It is considered terribly impolite to spend excessive amounts of time eating one course or another, whether one finds the dish distasteful or if one is simply distracted by conversation at the table, as to do so requires one's fellow guests to wait for you to finish your dish when they themselves are hungry and ready for the next. Should a dish not be to your liking, simply quietly place the cutlery down on the plate to show that you have finished, having sampled at least a mouthful, and do not otherwise draw attention to it.
During a meal, one is obliged to converse with those to one's left and right, as well as those opposite, and any ill feeling must be buried in the interests of politeness. It should bear mentioning, however, that one should never speak at the same time as one has food in one's mouth. To display half masticated food to those around you, or worse to spray it across the table as one speaks, is in disgustingly poor taste. Any topic of conversation which might prove to be controversial, such as that of religion, private matters or politics, should be avoided at the dinner table in order not to cause offence to any present.
It is usual to partake in wine with one's meal, the flavours of each carefully selected in order to complement each dish, but one should take care to drink slowly and responsibly. To lose one's wits to strong wine is shameful and wholly to be avoided. Likewise, those gentlemen (and in modern times, often some ladies) who wish to enjoy a small whiskey after their meal should be careful to enjoy it in moderation and not allow the drink to render them brash and uncivilised.
Before the final course of dessert or cheese is brought to the table, it is common for the host or hostess to rise to her feet to commence toasts and speeches. The act of rising to his or her feet is a signal to the gathered guests to become silent and turn their attention to him or her, and no further announcement, or worse the uncouth banging of cutlery against glassware, is necessary. The host or hostess will introduce the guest of honour, after which the guest of honour should rise and make a small speech, offering any toasts they wish. Once the guest of honour has been seated, any guest might rise to offer further toasts, and those customs particular to military or specific occasions might also commence. The toasts are always concluded with the loyal toast to the Republic, by tradition proposed by the youngest guest.
One does not leave the table under any circumstances but the most dire until the loyal toast has been drunk.
On completion of the meal, when the hostess rises, as should the guests, and each should follow her out to the drawing room or other room set aside for general after dinner conversation, entertainment and dancing. Before any guest leaves the premises, they should thank the host and hostess for their hospitality. It is then only polite to also send a scroll the following day reiterating your gratitude for the dinner and company.
